"If I can go that distance, you see, and that bell rings and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood."

"Have you checked the children?"

"Why, this car is auto-matic. It's system-matic. Its hyyyyydro-matic."

"I find your lack of faith disturbing."

"You're gonna need a bigger boat."

"He's gonna laugh at you. They're all gonna laugh at you!"

"I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!"

"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."

"A sheriff?! But law and order is the last thing I want. Wait a minute, maybe I could turn this thing to my advantage. If I could find a sheriff who so offends the citizens of Rock Ridge that his very appearance would drive them out of town."

"You talkin' to me? Then, who the hell else are you talkin to? You talkin' to me? Well, I'm the only one here."

"I'm here to fight for truth, justice, and the American way."

"What was I supposed to do, call him for cheating better than me in front of the others?"

"I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse."

"Tis but a scratch."

"Over? Did you say over? Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?!"